The Bad Guys Close In beat is another one that gives authors a lot of trouble. Even Blake Snyder, the father of the Save the Cat! Beat Sheet, will tell you that the Bad Guys Close In is “the toughest part of the [story]… and there’s no method to get through it other than to just muscle your way.”
I won’t lie and tell you that writing the Bad Guys Close In is easy. But I hope to make it a little easier for you by expanding on the information presented in Jessica Brody’s Save the Cat! Writes a Novel. As with the other articles in this Editor’s Guide to Save the Cat! Story Structure, we’ll start with a refresher of what the Bad Guys Close In beat is, according to the Save the Cat! method. Then we’ll go over a list of six things storytellers often include in this beat. This article then closes by covering the All Is Lost since this is the key moment that the Bad Guys Close In is building up to.
What Is the Bad Guys Close In?
According to the Save the Cat! Beat Sheet, the Bad Guys Close In should take up 25% of your novel, specifically, the portion from its 50–75% points. However, this is flexible. You’re probably good as long as it starts in the 45–65% range and ends in the 70–80% range.
According to Brody, the Bad Guys Close In, in a nutshell, is the “place for your hero to rebound after a false defeat Midpoint or fall down after a false victory Midpoint, all while the internal bad guys (flaws) are closing in.”
We’ll expand on the purposes of this beat throughout this article, but I want to start by expanding slightly on Brody’s explanation. This because I don’t think her description fully gets across just how much the false victory/defeat at the Midpoint impacts the Bad Guys Close In.
If your story has a false-victory Midpoint, you’ve likely set things up so that your hero hasn’t yet seen the errors of their ways when the Bad Guys Close In begins. After all, they got a victory out of fixing things the wrong way throughout the Fun and Games.
But because it can’t be a true victory, the Bad Guys Close In will highlight the negative side effects of the actions the hero took to gain this victory. This means the Bad Guys Close In will have a downward path, with challenges arising as the hero’s poor behaviour in the Fun and Games comes back to haunt them.
Meanwhile, a false-defeat Midpoint is typically followed by a Bad Guys Close In with an upward path. It might feel counterintuitive to associate an upward path with a beat named “Bad Guys Close In,” but it’s perfectly logical when we think about it.
It’s logical because, unlike a false victory, a false defeat provides the hero with clear evidence that they’ve been fixing things the wrong way so far. And this evidence forces them to acknowledge that they need to become a better person at the outset of the Bad Guys Close In. Throughout the beat, the main challenges faced by the hero will be due to their lack of an understanding of how to change.
To summarize, if you have a false-victory Midpoint, the Bad Guys Close In will be about the hero learning that they need to change. If you have a false-defeat Midpoint, the Bad Guys Close In will be about the hero learning how to undergo a change that they already know they need.
Either way, the road will be fraught with challenges. But the nature of the challenges will differ, which is why it's almost impossible to plot a strong Bad Guys Close in without being 100% clear on whether your hero gains a victory or suffers a defeat at the Midpoint.
What Happens in the Bad Guys Close In?
Here, we’ll look at a few specific storytelling elements that occur between the Midpoint and the All Is Lost. This is quite a large chunk of a story, and unfortunately, Save the Cat! Writes a Novel provides only a few pages of general advice.
As a refresher, Brody mentions that in a Bad Guys Close In that follows a false victory, “things are getting progressively worse for your hero, and more and more bad things are happening.”
Brody also explains that the purpose of this kind of Bad Guys Close In is to show the hero and the reader that they were wrong to think the Midpoint was a victory. To do this, you can use “literal bad guys” to put obstacles in the hero’s way. Or, “it can be done by simply inflicting more ‘bad’ things on your hero.”
As for a Bad Guys Close In following a false defeat, Brody states, “Life is getting progressively better. Things are looking up! Your hero is making great strides. Improving their situation. Conquering obstacles.” She adds, “When the Bad Guys Close In is an upward path, false victories…are often found right before the All Is Lost.”
Finally, regardless of whether the Midpoint had a false victory or defeat, “those internal bad guys are still hard at work inside your hero’s psyche. Messing up relationships, sabotaging successes, destroying happiness.”
Based on Brody’s explanations, we get the following list of things we can do during the Bad Guys Close In:
Show that the Midpoint victory was false using literal bad guys or by inflicting more bad things on the hero.
Show the hero making great strides if the Midpoint was a false defeat.
If the Midpoint contained a false defeat, give the hero a false victory right before things fall apart at the All Is Lost.
Show that the hero's internal bad guys are still causing problems.
While these points are perfectly valid, I suspect most new authors will find them too broad to be useful. There’s also not enough guidance there to help an author write 20,000 words or more.
For those reasons, I’ve compiled a list of six specific things that storytellers often do in the Bad Guys Close In. These are:
Alter a familiar setting.
Start with an emotional low point.
Show the hero struggling against their former self.
Clarify the hero’s most immediate short-term goal.
Clarify the antagonist’s goal.
Have the hero take a stab at achieving their long-term goal.
I’ll admit that even this list isn’t perfect since the first five points apply to the early scenes of the Bad Guys Close In, while the sixth applies only to the final scene. As for what happens in the middle, like Blake Snyder says, you’ll just have to “muscle your way” through it.
But still, knowing your starting and finishing points for this beat can make writing the middle a lot more manageable. So, let’s look at these six elements more closely.
Alter a Familiar Setting
Authors commonly devote a short scene at the beginning of the Bad Guys Close In to highlighting how the upside-down world of Act 2 has changed since the hero arrived in it. Doing this sends the reader a signal that the story is taking a turn.
Since the Fun and Games and Bad Guys Close In are something of mirror images of one another, you’ll often be able to find lines from these two beats that set opposing tones.
For example, consider the following passage from an early Fun and Games scene in The Giver, in which Jonas receives a memory of sledding:
Comprehending all of those things as he sped downward, he was free to enjoy the breathless glee that overwhelmed him: the speed, the clear cold air, the total silence, the feeling of balance and excitement and peace.
And compare it with the following bit from the initial scene of the Bad Guys Close In:
The daily training continued, and now it always included pain. The agony of the fractured leg began to seem no more than a mild discomfort as The Giver led Jonas firmly, little by little, into the deep and terrible suffering of the past.
Both scenes take place in the Giver’s room at the Annex, and both involve Jonas being given a memory. But the mood has done a 180.
Start with an Emotional Low Point
The nature of this low point depends on whether the Midpoint contained a false victory or defeat.
If the Midpoint was a false defeat
In this case, it is natural for the Bad Guys Close In to start with a scene showing the hero’s negative emotional reaction to their defeat.
Ideally, the feeling the hero experiences will be the very feeling they’ve been trying to avoid throughout the story, such as the sting of rejection or the humiliation of being revealed as a fraud.
In Divergent, Tris’s false defeat occurs when she fails to hide her Divergent status from the Dauntless faction. Throughout the story, the main emotion Tris has been trying to avoid is fear. And guess what emotion the author forces Tris to feel as the Bad Guys Close In begins.
Loneliness.
No, you were right. It’s fear.
When Tris learns that Divergents are targeted by powerful people and that her life is at risk, she has more reason than ever to be afraid. And she’ll struggle with her fear throughout the Bad Guys Close In.
If the Midpoint was a false victory
In this case, the hero is unlikely to start the Bad Guys Close In in a state of despair since they will have just achieved a major victory. Instead, the early Bad Guys Close In scenes will confront the hero with the negative side effects of their Midpoint victory.
In Mean Girls, Cady spends the Fun and Games scheming to exact revenge on mean girl Regina George, and she succeeds by the Midpoint. But, in order to succeed, Cady had to become a mean girl herself.
Cue the negative side effects.
At a party in the first Bad Guys Close In scene, Cady’s crush tells her she’s like a clone of Regina and is losing interest in her because of it. Cady then loses her best friends during the same scene, with Janis telling her that she’s not just pretending to be a mean girl anymore. Then, in the next scene, Regina retaliates for everything Cady did to her by telling their principal that the Burn Book is Cady’s. And this causes all kinds of trouble for our hero throughout the rest of Act 2.
Show the Hero Overcoming/Struggling Against Their Former Self
This element of the Bad Guys Close In is an extension of the previous one. The emotional low point’s purpose is to show the hero that they need to change. But they’ve been living the wrong way for so long that they can’t change just like that.
Aspects of the hero’s old mindset are still there, and they’re going to cause the hero to resist change. Or, even if they accept the need to change, their old self is going to cause them to make mistakes.
This is what Brody was talking about when she said, "those internal bad guys are still hard at work inside your hero’s psyche."
If the Midpoint was a false defeat
If the hero suffered a defeat at the Midpoint, they will probably be willing to admit that they behaved poorly during the Fun and Games. And so they’ll start the Bad Guys Close In knowing they need to change. As a result, they will begin to overcome their former self, acting with more bravery, selflessness, kindness, or what-have-you.
In the Bad Guys Close In of Cars, Lightning McQueen acknowledges that he’s never done anything selfless in his life. This realization motivates him to overcome his selfish former self and finish paving the road through Radiator Springs. And he actually does a good job of it this time because he’s no longer just doing it so he can get to his big race; he understands that the road will benefit others.
If the Midpoint was a false victory
If the Fun and Games had an upward trend, then the hero will have been unfairly rewarded for their bad behaviour with a Midpoint victory. Therefore, a hero in a false-victory-Midpoint story will probably resist changing their ways as the Bad Guys Close In starts.
At the Midpoint of The Lion King, Nala finds Simba and tells him that the pride will starve if Simba doesn’t fight Scar and become king. But Simba refuses this call to action. On the surface, it looks like Simba is being stubborn because doing the wrong thing (i.e., shirking his responsibilities and ignoring his past) has been pleasurable so far. That is, he's been rewarded for behaving poorly.
But the real reason Simba refuses Nala’s request is that his former self—the cub who blames himself for his father’s death—is too afraid to face his past. As such, this beat revolves around Simba's struggle to overcome this internal bad guy .
Clarify the Hero’s Most Immediate Short-Term Goal
As discussed in the previous article in this series, the Midpoint usually causes the hero to develop a new long-term goal or adjust their strategy for tackling their original goal. Either way, if this long-term goal is going to be big enough to fill out the Bad Guys Close In, it’s probably going to have to contain multiple short-term goals, each of which will be given its own scene.
So, before you get too far into the Bad Guys Close In, your hero should start working on the first step of their new/modified long-term goal so that the plot can continue moving forward.
To see how this works in practice, let’s return to some of the examples I used in the previous article and look at the kinds of short-term goals heroes tackle in the early going of the Bad Guys Close In:
At the Midpoint of Free Guy, Millie modified her long-term goal of finding evidence that Antwan stole her code and used it to make the smash-hit video game Free City. Her initial short-term goal is to convince Guy—the AI she created and who is a character in Free City—to help her find the code.
At the Midpoint of Back to the Future, Marty learns that before he can go back to 1985 (his original long-term goal), he must first ensure that his parents fall in love so that he will still exist when he returns (new long-term goal). In the first Bad Guys Close In scene, Marty goes to his parents’ high school to introduce his dad to his mom (initial short-term goal).
At the Midpoint of Everything, Everything, Madeline’s mom puts an end to her relationship with Olly, her love interest. Soon thereafter, Madeline decides to flee to Hawaii so she can experience life to the fullest (new long-term goal). However, since Madeline can’t drive, an early Bad Guys Close In scene revolves around her initial short-term goal of convincing Olly to take her to the airport.
Clarify the Antagonist’s Goal
If you have an external bad guy, then you will also want to highlight their goal early in the Bad Guys Close In to ratchet up the tension of this beat.
This can be a little tricky if you have a first-person or close third-person narrator since you can’t just cut to the villain’s lair like in the movies. But you can still accomplish this, for example, by having your hero discuss with their allies what they think the antagonist is plotting.
In an early Bad Guys Close In scene of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, Harry overhears a conversation between Filch and Snape. This prompts him to find Ron and Hermione and give them his interpretation of what he heard:
‘He tried to get past that three-headed dog at Hallowe’en! That’s where he was going when we saw him – he’s after whatever it’s guarding! And I’d bet my broomstick he let that troll in, to create a diversion!’
Hermione’s eyes were wide.
‘No – he wouldn’t,’ she said. ‘I know he’s not very nice, but he wouldn’t try and steal something Dumbledore was keeping safe.’
‘Honestly, Hermione, you think all teachers are saints or something,’ snapped Ron. ‘I’m with Harry. I wouldn’t put anything past Snape. But what’s he after? What’s that dog guarding?’
Have the Hero Take a Stab at Achieving Their Long-Term Goal
The Bad Guys Close In typically ends with a failed attempt by the hero to achieve their long-term goal.
Returning to the bad Guys Close In of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, the final part of Harry’s long-term goal is to keep tabs on Snape and catch him on the night Harry expects him to attempt to steal the Philosopher’s Stone. But his plan fails miserably.
But the hero doesn't have to flat-out fail. Sometimes, the hero appears to accomplish their goal only for something to go terribly wrong at the last second.
In the final Bad Guys Close In scene of Free Guy, Millie finally finds the in-game evidence she’s been looking for since Act 1. But just when she gets her hands on it, the game is rebooted, destroying the evidence.
Alternatively, the hero might actually achieve their long-term goal at the end of the Bad Guys Close In. But their victory comes with a terrible side effect.
In the Bad Guys Close In of Everything, Everything, Madeline and Olly have a wonderous, romantic escape in Hawaii, and by the end of it, they’ve confessed their love for one another. Madeline has achieved her long-term goal of experiencing the world and romantic love. However, because of Madeline’s illness, the side effect of her victory is that her heart stops, albeit only momentarily.
As these examples show, the hero’s attempt to accomplish their goal, whether they fail or succeed, naturally leads into the lowest point of their journey: the All Is Lost.
All Is Lost
According to the Save the Cat! Beat Sheet, the All Is Lost should occur at a novel’s 75% mark. However, 70% and 80% are common, and even 85% is perfectly acceptable.
Although the All Is Lost is described as a single-scene beat, it does not need to encompass an entire scene. In many stories, this beat is a single point that occurs at the end of the final scene of the Bad Guys Close In, which is why I’m discussing it here instead of in its own article.
The All Is Lost, as Brody puts it, “illustrates your hero’s rock bottom (lowest moment) of the story.” And authors include this moment in their stories because “before our heroes can find that true path to real transformation, we have to bring them so low…that they have no other choice but to change.”
Therefore, regardless of whether the Bad Guys Close In had an upward or downward path, the All Is Lost will be a catastrophic defeat.
Since the All Is Lost is a straightforward beat—it must include a catastrophe and doesn’t leave room for much else—there isn’t a ton to say about it that isn’t said in Save the Cat! Writes a Novel.
Still, I want to review the two criteria that a good All Is Lost beat should meet and emphasize their importance. Specifically, these two criteria are:
The event should be big.
The hero should assume responsibility for the catastrophe.
The Event Must Be Big
Why is it important for the All Is Lost event to be a huge setback?
To answer that, I want to start by explaining why authors include an All Is Lost beat in the first place. They do it because when the hero temporarily loses all hope, it enhances the euphoric feeling the reader experiences when the hero comes back from their rock bottom and succeeds.
There are two specific key moments in a story that a well-written All Is Lost will enhance. The first is the moment when the hero has a change of heart and decides to fight (i.e., the Break Into 3). The second is the moment when the hero finally gains their true victory in the Finale.
These two moments are typically the most emotionally charged moments in a story. And the lower the All Is Lost, the better your reader will feel during these moments.
But there’s a conundrum: if you’ve written your story correctly, your hero will want nothing more than to achieve their goal, and they will stop at almost nothing to get it.
Therefore, for logic’s sake, you need to give your hero a very compelling reason to give up. Otherwise, as Brody states, their “final transformation will feel contrived.” As a result, you will have spoiled what could have been the best parts of your novel.
And this answers the question posed above: Why is it important for the All Is Lost event to be a huge setback? Because if it’s not, the reader won’t buy it when the hero gives up, and so the reader's emotional reactions to the Break Into 3 and Finale will be reduced.
The most common reason for a hero to give up is if the pursuit of their goal has caused or will cause death. At the very least, Brody recommends including a so-called “whiff of death.” Even if no characters die, something important should come to an end: a dream job, a close friendship, a romantic connection, etc.
I reckon you can think of plenty of examples off the top of your head. But for the sake of completeness, here are a few examples from the stories I’ve examined throughout this article:
The All Is Lost moment in Everything, Everything occurs when Madeline’s heart momentarily stops beating (an actual—temporary—death).
In The Lion King, Nala tells Simba everyone in the pride will starve to death if he continues to neglect his duties (the threat of death).
In Cars, Lightning McQueen is taken away from Radiator Springs and all the friends he’s made there (the death of meaningful friendships).
The Hero Must Assume Responsibility
While a death is a great reason for a hero to give up, death alone does not guarantee the believability of an All Is Lost moment. The hero must also believe that people have died/suffered because of their pursuit of their goal. The hero should think, If I give up now, no one else can get hurt.
An added benefit of this is that it allows your hero to give up while still appearing heroic. It isn’t noble to give up on a goal just because it’s gotten too hard. But it’s very noble to give up on your dreams to protect other people.
Let’s look at the same examples from the previous section to see this element of the All Is Lost in action:
After Madeline is resurrected and returns home following her risky excursion in Hawaii, her mom asks, “How could you do this to yourself?... How could you do this to me?” Because Madeline assumes blame for worrying her mom, she terminates her relationship with Olly, signifying that she has given up on living life to its fullest.
Simba’s situation is a little different. Whereas Madeline’s Bad Guys Close In goal was based on her needs, Simba’s goal (to forget his past and his responsibilities) was based on his wants. Therefore, in The Lion King, it’s actually a good thing that the All Is Lost causes Simba to give up on his goal. That way, he can form a better goal in the Break Into 3.
But there is still some guilt here. After his argument with Nala, Simba goes off on his own and yells up to the sky (to his father), “You said you’d always be there for me! But you’re not. And it’s because of me. It’s my fault.”
The All Is Lost in Cars is nonstandard. After Lightning McQueen is taken away, it’s Doc who is burdened with guilt, as we learn he was the one who told the press where Lightning was. It’s his fault Lightning got taken away.
This twist on the All Is Lost is due to the way the film is structured. Cars doesn’t have that standard Break Into 3 moment where the hero decides to do the right thing to kick off Act 3. Instead, the big moment of decision is merged with the Finale, when Lighting must decide between winning the Piston Cup and helping Stripped Weathers finish his last race with dignity.
Closing Remarks
I hope this article has given you some kind of an idea of how you can structure your novel’s Bad Guys Close In if you’ve been struggling with it.
If you make sure you’re starting this beat with the right mood, and if you’ve given your hero a long-term goal that’s going to take several scene-worthy steps to accomplish, you’re already well on your way. And if you know how the hero is ultimately going to fail to achieve their goal, so much the better.
If you got something out of this article, don’t forget to subscribe to my mailing list to be notified when I post new articles.
Thanks for reading!